Hey reader.
I'm flailing. Currently sitting on mils couch and wishing I could crawl into bed and not wake up. I can't do it. I have 3 small people that depend on me. Having chest pains and keeping it to myself because I'm afraid of scaring the kids. Like. Fuck.
I can hear my son crying in her room and they're talking so I'm trying to let him be. Youngest laid on me and cried earlier. Middle child is the strongest. I think because of the tism. It makes feelings different. I relied on her for the hard parts and she stood strong. I wish I had him so this wouldn't be happening.
I know. Maybe when I pass I'll see him on the other side. I don't know when that will be an I wish I could see him now. Instead of later.
Woo. Football.
Trying to calm myself so I don't bust an artery. Fuck. I'm scared reader.
What do I do?
S
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