I want you to be happier

 

Hey reader. It's another day, another reason to keep walking and moving forward.

Anesthesiologist called me and I have to pay X amount before Friday. So I'm waiting to see if that will happen or not. Bahahaha my luck. Whilst writing helps pay bills, does anyone just randomly drop 2k on a surgery? Not me. 

My head is killing me but I learned to lean into what hurts. I know that sounds bizarre but I promise it makes sense. In the past I would lean away from the dreams from the thoughts. Instead of fighting them I lean in. It becomes a lucid dream and I can tell them no. 

I can change how my heart feels.

Because stalkers and lies. 

I'm good though. I slept quite a bit and only have a headache because I was leaning down too much. Head up. Smile bright. 

Can't hurt what's impenetrable. Lol that sounds dirty, I'll take it. 

I should say goodbyes tomorrow. I don't know if that will be a good idea but maybe. 

I can't wait til I see ex bosses face again. We have an old way of working together. Like cogs and oil. I help him and in turn he helps me stay balanced. 

Oh jeez. Last year? He texted Drake warning him I was in a spot. Yeah. I was mad at first but. No reason to be mad at people for caring for me. 

Shit. That's another project I have though.

And Izzard said that insecurity from exes about other exes is a thing. 

Why?

Whyyyyyy?

Can't not choose me and then be insecure if I say something about people. But the fact of the matter is in other relationships, those ships have sailed. All but Griffin and I still don't know what is going on there. He's not an ex, he's just someone I thought was good and was proven wrong. He wants me because I comfort him. And 

Hahaha omg

I did invite him and Bastian & Kesari to live with me separately when I move. That could be part of it? But why would I invite someone who can't tell if they want to hurt me or love me? Cha.

I gotta go to town. 

S