Rage and the modern housewife

 

Being good will get you nowhere.

No that's not really how I think, it's just a prevalence of videos coming up on my feed and I want to say that maybe? Maybe that's partially true. 

You can cure all the cancers, heal all the wounds, do all of the work you need to to be a functional adult in the end- and it still bites you in the butt.

So is being kind radical and pointless? Maybe. 

Will it stop me from being kind to strangers going through it? Nah 

I broke down on Reddit because there are so many people going through the same stupidity I have in my head. 

Talked one down because he is convinced if he offs himself, he will be with her in quantum reality. Like uhh

Timeline jumping

Yeah. 

No.

Maybe that's what your beliefs are, but so far I don't think so. Offing yourself sucks. For everyone involved. 

Anyway. It was too much. I spread myself thin even when I'm like onion skin. As much as I hate onions, they do have layers and skin. Like ogres. Like me 😅

I don't have a plan tonight other than maybe refraining from dosing. Or taking a handful of other pills that could just knock me out. If I can find them anyway 😑

C'est la vie.

I know you hear the la vies in the background of that. 

I can't help it.

On the plus side, I'm able to write like crazy now. Like woohoo

On the negative side, I keep being dumb and fucking eggplant ass.

Fuck fuck fuck

I snapped a guy I've known for years and he was trying to sext I think? And I'm like "hey I kind of want to, trust me, but my roommate is awake and that's awkward AF."

Am I gonna try later tonight? Lol absolutely. 

I haven't taken those kind of pictures in years- due to the esteem death. 

Do I want to? No, but I'm pushing myself into this because I need it.

I gotta feel something other than pangs of shit that doesn't exist in this reality. 

Griffin is well, not that... I uh.

We grouped together on being suicidal. Yeah. Just that, were being our own stay alive cheerleaders. 

He said he would turn me into a lich if I off myself 

I told him I will hire a necromancer and make him my derpy slave. 

He said he'd hate living as undead with no brain because being smart is most important. 

If give up half my brain if it meant I wouldn't think of people. If it meant I wouldn't suffer with PTSD. 

Lobotomyyyyy

But yeah. Griffin is good. Not really good but good enough to keep going for the moment. 

Ares is alive, we don't talk much but I'm ok with that.

He knows how I feel and nothing is going to change unless apocalypse.

And I get his stance as well. 

Ok.

I think I've said enough. I wanted to let some tension go today. I think it's good now. 

I'm not high yet! 

I will be at 6 pm but for now I'm just me. Unfiltered and raw, much like the gross milk in Florida. 

Oh, if I haven't said it. 

Don't drink raw milk. Don't give raw milk to your kids.

Don't be an idiot. Holy shit. 

In this year of our Savior, 2025, why should anyone be reminded to not drink things that can kill them????

I'd stay forever but your forever isn't mine. 

As always n never

S