Fml I need to not be online when I get crazy. Spent a few hours with my eldest, listening to music. Apparently he's been in a funk so the music helped but it probably didn't help my own brain. Fuck. Fuckitty fuck fuck.
I want to be empty of memory. Never think again. I'm actually thinking of signing up for the memory erasure human trials that are soon to start.
Real talk, is this bad? Like erase everything memory wise. That's good right? It could make it so I'd never worry or think about XYZ. Bahaha
Who am I kidding, I know I'd remember past the brain implosions.
Ok not sure how they do the memory wiping but I'd still want to try. Would it make me better? Maybe. I'm happier writing shit out cause I can sleep afterwards. Hoping so anyway.
6 herniated discs in my back and the issue plaguing me is an ex who hates me. Like. It's been months and I was fine!!??
Why now. When I'm better. When I have gone months without pushing it in my head? Ugh I hate how this brain works.
On the other hand, legit, I want to volunteer to get my brain wiped.
If it doesn't work, hopefully I'll be brain neutered?
Fuck
Bastian I'm sorry if you read this and get upsettinspaghetti
I'm a broken record and I'm driving everyone else away. Maybe she's born with it maybe it's mental health.
So yeah.
As always
S
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