In the shallow now

 

Hey reader,

Went to prescriber today, showed my neat back scar to a nurse and she paled, lmbo. 

I'm ok. I said in the shallow now because I had just been listening to Lady Gaga and some dude singing it, and it seems right. 

Not worried about stalkers anymore, they've died down. Am I still writing in places? No, but for good reasons. I'm allowing myself to feel the nonsense and dissect it, and then squash it down further. Don't worry, I will set up alarms or something for further down the road when I forget again. I've got this thing where if it hurts enough, it gets squished. And yeah it comes back up but I'm able to deal with the pain and the feelings afterward. 

Like when my dad told me to deal with the to-be rapists in the pool when I was 13. It sucks but I was able to deal. My body stores pain like a camel. I'm guessing to keep me going. Or to remind me that people suck ass.

Am I lumping in some lupine fuck in there? Indeed.

Or as griffin would say, indubitably so. 

As always!

S