So many

 

There are so many songs that now illicit a feeling in me. Fuckkkkkk

I'm keeping up though. And sober too, bitches. 

I seriously just added like 3 songs because the feeling wouldn't die down. 

But I made through to this side. My surgery is taking up a lot of time, getting the house ready for me to be invalid for a week. I swear I got a leave detailed instructions else we will eat like fending all week. 

I sit with the ingredients and see what comes to be. Some are normal, old type of shit, chicken and rice.

Some are recipes I have memorized, puttanesca, potato bread, chicken stew. 

Others are things I made by accident, lasagna soup, broccoli casserole, the wrong French onion soup. 

But the people around me don't follow recipes. They want quick and easy, they want char on their meat, their favorite way to get me sick is saying moist. 

So I gotta find things that are simple. Cause I never do just fucking easy do I?

Ah oh I also called my step mom because today was her birthday. Weird. I felt shaky doing it but I made it. Only had to pretend to get off the phone like 5x before they hung up. 

Guilt is forreal yo.

As it was

S