2. Never go grocery shopping when you're hungry.
3. Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
Struggled with a song to pick today but mainly because I needed a song that conveyed how I felt. This song absofuckinglutely does not convey how I feel but I like it just the same so it will stay.
I'm writing this wholly unmedicated so bare with me. Also I am shaking and my eyes are swollen like fuck so it is hard to type and see so I keep going back and correcting myself like always.
I broke my phone screen last night after hurling it at the windshield of the car I was in. Don't do that, for one. Phones are expensive and hard to replace in my economy so it is going to be a *fun* life with glass shards for me for a while.
Goodnight and Goodbye
Those two made me so red I threw my phone, cracking it in at least three places. Drake got pissed at me of course, and Randy wanted to take me back to the hospital but I wouldn't go. No need at that point. I wasn't suicidal anymore. I was red. Red like a torrent of blood cascading through me. Red like a flag that's the opposite of white. No surrender, just make that bull go crashing thru the doors.
And I wrote my last blog. Err, chronologically last, not the last in my series.
Ares was trying to get me out of my funk at that time but it was no avail. Yes, I could write but the only words were hate.
I hate you. Congrats.
I don't know if I hate anyone right now, but I have gloriously gone numb for the moment. Numb is better than hurt for the sake of argument.
Should I have said that? Nah, but it did the trick. By this time I should be persona non grata and We can live our lives separately. In the same town. No friends in common, nothing to worry about there.
The only thing that niggles is: I have to wait for the numb to go away.
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