Hey reader. Got off work. Took a shower. Washing clothes. I have 2 9 hour shifts ahead of me this weekend. I'm on the 5th day of working 7 days straight. A lil sore not gonna lie.
It's all good though.
I was going to use a Foo fighters song instead of this one but I decided to use this instead. Both are good. Just different. Very different.
I'm currently at my house and wondering what the future will hold. It's very quiet in here. My middle kidlet is sick today so she's chilling at in laws house. Youngest went to school and eldest is at work. He's suffering. I don't know how to help because he feels like a burden. Also waiting on medical shit sucks. Just to let you know.
We've been waiting nearly 2 months for him to get in to a psych. I don't know if it will help tbh.
Anything is better than this though. I feel very stressed and alone. But I know the universe is weird and shit. Shifts happen every day. With or without my guidance.
I'm using positive affirmations and seriously. Just. Bah.
The want to go get high is strong. I am still sober. Being high will just be a bandaid to be honest. I know it. And drinking. Dear Lord I want to. Every day. And every day I choose not to. It's fucking hard. I'd be a sad sappy drunk. But Drake wouldn't want that.
Washer is nearly done. I can hear it wind down.
Tbh I wish he'd call me. I know he won't and I am understanding the hell I may have put him through. But it doesn't stop the want to make sure he's ok. Yes reader, I'm retarded. It's ok.
Anyway.
Always
S
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