Hey reader. It's almost 430 pm on Sunday. I'm off tomorrow. I don't know exactly what I'm doing right now. Tomorrow I talk with Social Security people about payments for the girls. I'm hurting reader. Last night my youngest got scared because I went blank. It's ok. I just...
I dreamed the doorbell was ringing. Or I hallucinated it was ringing. Either way, I stumbled out of bed at like 228 in the morning. Like absolutely sure someone rang the bell. My house has no bell but hers does. I need to set one up for us but I also just don't care at the moment.
I'm not crumbling. I'm standing tall. It's hard af. However I have been through a lot. I've been keeping quiet. Watching.
Learning.
Old Suzie is chilling out in the past. New Suzie wants to learn everything possible.
Like. Meeting new coworkers and learning about their extended families so when they talk about them I can follow along.
No weird stalker vibes. Can't even tell you the last time I tried googling exes.
I'm learning so I can be a better coworker and friend.
Cause I want friends. I have a handful, mostly online now due to how far they are from me.
Thought vaguely about talking to Griffin but the distance and his ... He made me go cold and not trust men. Soooo maybe not.
I'm alone and aloof. Middle kidlet is watching "Poppy Playtime Chapter 5" Don't ask me what it is about, I just know the name and that it's currently what she's stuck on. Which is fine.
She's like me in the tism way but she has a veritable fuck ton of things she obsesses about.
Including but not limited to, all of the resident evil games, Thomas the Tank engine, Wizard of Oz- absolutely not Wicked. Because she hates Wicked. Just saying.
Yeah.
I follow along so I know what's she's concentrated on at the moment.
Always
S
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