Becoming

 

Hey reader. 

I'm hurting a shit ton but I am pushing through. Even when I want to give up. Because the kids need me to. I don't know what I am doing and holding myself together with tape until I know basically. 

Throwing myself into work a shit ton because it's better than sitting in silence and hurting moreso. Is it hurting my body? Absofuckinglutely. However is it healthier than dwelling? Yup.

I have a 9 hour shift tomorrow. Going to be with the boss. Oof. Big oof. I'm hoping it won't be as bad as I think it will. Truthfully we get along alright. 

I finally took off my wedding ring. Put it on the chain around my neck with Drakes ring. Hurts but I need to let go little by little. 

Eldest is playing his mouth organ right now. It's neat. We're trying to get an accordion for him but right now I can't afford it yet. 

It'll. It'll work out. I'm starting to quit smoking again so... It'll work out. 

S