Transference

 

Hey reader. Heavy is my heart. 

I showered today and did some laundry. Got the spousal support check from the VA, which is nice. It'll mean I can have the kids at home when they're ready I think. 

Nothing feels right. 

I can't cry but I also can't be ok. Which is dumb. 

I'd rather sob than feel the hollowness. I realize he's a spirit now. He can meet his dad, and hang out with Slim but holy hell do I wish he was here instead. Selfish a little bit also because our kids didn't deserve to lose their dad so early. 

Bah. 

S