Hey reader. I made it home. We got lost because of a gas station out of place, then a bridge that was down, and a huge wreck where the semi burnt up the cab.
That was not fun, but I sang loudly and I kept up my smile. The trolls are at it again but I have a cool thing against that too. I know now.
Real life, you dumb cunts.
It fucks me better and more often than you could ever hope.
Cause I haven't lied, not once.
I have surgery on Friday and then I'm stuck for a while til I heal. Can't even lift 5 lbs after the surgery. My body hurts almost as bad as my heart. I was able to calm .myself down in the office when they checked my BP. 138/85 this time. Better than at the shrink anyway.
And a huge part of me wants to leave myself on that OR table. Never come out of the bliss of nothingness.
Go in, strip down, let them start and let myself go. The other part of me is living for spite again. However less so. Hard to not hate myself when the trolls spawned by your words are telling you you should kys.
Ahh life
Such it is.
I asked my son if he'd make dinner because I feel like ass and can't just take an edible because I CAN'T FOR 4 days. Fuck. The numbing of ibuprofen is like tossing water on the grease fire in me.
Laugh at me. Please, it only fuels it more.
No one, and I mean no one, knew everything. Until you told them. I'm ok with this. Be the villain you need to dictate how you'll treat people in the future.
I'm so done. I can't cry anymore.
The fucking stupidest fucking thing is I would make him room again. I would do almost anything to make it better for him. But I know it's all for naught.
Fuck
S

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