Call me by your name

 

Hey reader

I talked to my father today, that went as good as expected to be honest. I let him know that I didn't need help any longer because I just gave up. It wasn't even the torment to me. It was my eldest being scared they'd hurt his sisters. Eldest and I talked and while we ended it on a high note, he was still mad at me for even joining reddit. 

I get it. I needed an outlet that I could just pour into. Oops.

Instead, I got things in real time. And apparently I had forgot earlier I had talked to eldest about a situation. Back then after a conversation of some sort there were threats and eldest removed him from my steam. 

I truly don't care because I don't play games. Oooh

But now I got to find a new outlet. Tired of this. 

So much. 

I have here, which I can pour my cup out when I need, but no. 

I need something I can be anonymous and quiet and read. That I can help people when I have the urge. I hate meta because it's ... It's just an ick feeling. 

Who knows maybe I'll go back to rom or something.

That won't help but it's a happy distraction. 

Oh doppelganger was a spy, that was not expected. However I should've learned or known better.

While I have no issues finding people to connect with, generally I step forward. Not them. Which I am ok with. 

After today, being called every name under the sun, making fun of my books and art- that was actually a low blow. I used AI to make a cover and never used it because the book is scrapped. I started writing books before AI was legible. Much less easily accessible. But please tell me more how I have no talent and I use AI. You'd still just be a liar. 

I'm going to raise my girls to not be the kind of girl who is plastic. Teach them that actions speak louder than words. And that they should never trust a stranger. Woo. Football. Least eldest knows. Eh. 

I'm done with the thoughts now. Like I had a nap of 4 hours and I'm ready to go back out and do something. Well ... Actually I do have a project. 

I dreamed of making a side skirt to use with one of my gowns. I had the entire outfit making in my mind. I just have to break out one of our sewing machines so I can get it done. 

No one can ruin this for me. 

Plus I know the owner so I'm good.

S